Unbolting the Dark, A Memoir: On Turning Inward in Search of by Lynne Spellman

By Lynne Spellman

Unbolting the darkish, A Memoir lines the author's mental and religious trip at midlife to appreciate the profound impression of her mother's demise. This inward seek turns into a precise trip that incorporates 9 months in England on the college of Cambridge, six months at a monastery in Switzerland, and a 12 months and a part in seminary in long island urban as she prepares for ordination as an Episcopal priest. This reflective and encouraging ebook attracts at the author's vast wisdom of philosophy in classical and past due antiquity to discover the pagan and Christian Platonist culture of turning inward as a fashion of figuring out God. As Spellman uncovers what she didn't formerly learn about herself, she additionally discovers the presence of a goodness and love that transcends us all.

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With Irène I shared my photographs; to her I read the Psalms. ” Two years after I left Grandchamp, Maatje wrote to tell me Sr. Irène had died. At Grandchamp, I often could not sleep as bits of French darted like fish through the ocean of incomprehension. I would have liked to walk around, but the walls between the rooms did not dampen sound. My shoes would have thundered like the feet of elephants on the wooden stairs. At the New Year’s party, Sr. Michèle greeted me as “Soeur Lynne,” words I doubted I had heard rightly until at my departure, in a card that began in English and ended in French, she repeated them.

Certainly I cannot claim that I was thinking, though fragments of French and Taizé chant ran sometimes through my mind. But more important than any thoughts I could have had were those that mile by mile I forgot. It is hard to live in community. In places where people can generally be counted on to be kind, it is an irony that events which might, in another context, be all but unnoticed too often become the focus of attention. However, even when the week had been harmonious, constant proximity was for me a cause of fatigue.

On the other hand, I was relieved to be excluded from their many community meetings. I knew I did not wholeheartedly want their communal life. For me Grandchamp was a very peculiar, inscrutable, temporarily helpful jumble. indb 22 6/20/11 7:30 AM Chapter 5 23 life which I both treasured and ran from and an isolation which I both suffered from and treasured. All the disjointed longings that are in us tend to be magnified in the Christmas season, especially Christmas in a distant place. We want to be “home” for Christmas, and we often do not know where that would be.

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